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Were You Born a Leader or Did You Become One?

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By Fay Lawrence

When you are an expert in your field and you are called a Subject Matter Expert (SME), the probabilities of getting promoted, “if” you play your cards right are high.  The problem resides in you getting promoted to become a team leader, a supervisor or a manager who is responsible for managing “humans.”

Once the celebration dies down and you are expected to perform as “the leader” of the team, department or organization without ever being in charge or managing people, this “promotion” becomes a challenge.

Don’t despair…I know you gave it a lot of thought; the position, the money and the responsibilities look glamorous, but the thought of leading “this team” appear to be a daunting one.  The one thing to remember, is that leadership is not a “trait” that only the “chosen” have.  Leadership is a behavior, a skill, an attitude and, like any skill, it can be learned and developed.  Your advantage, is that you can learn while on the job.

I think of Moses, Jeremiah, Joshua and even Gideon, to name some great leaders in the Bible, who never believed they had it in them to lead the people of Israel.  But, God had faith in them and helped them become good leaders step-by-step.

The more I work with leaders, the more I see that if you believe in yourself and follow “the steps,” you too can become the best leader you ever wanted to be.  Leadership is a choice:  Have you made the decision to become one?

Early in my career, I had female soldiers who would come to me for “mentoring.” In the beginning, I would panic, push it off and come up with excuses for why it was not a good fit, until I was given the opportunity to lead the most difficult pair I ever encountered.  They didn’t like me and did all they could to sabotage my efforts, but I took the challenge head-on and learned to successfully lead them even though we didn’t like each other. We were a successful as a “team.”

As each left the organization, they came back to me to apologize.  They told me they could not believe that I could work with them and still be fair.  Although it was a very tough situation, I truly learned to treat people with dignity and respect, even when they disliked me.  For me, leadership is about getting things done through others; it’s about influence and results with excellence.  You don’t have to like them, they don’t have to like you but, together, we need to accomplish the mission, period.

I learned valuable lessons. I looked around me and came up with traits, behaviors and attitudes, I admired in my bosses.  I only had a female boss, the rest, the commanders were all men.  I learned something from each one. I looked at the gap between me and them then worked on improving myself.  As a result, I was decorated multiple times for leading a team of brilliant employees to the Pentagon and later became one of the top leaders for a global organization, all because I believed I could do it and I learned from the best in my “industry.”

I want to share this tool with you.  I share it with my coaching clients and I am sure it can help you too.

  1. Click Here to get the worksheet.  Think of a leader, the best leader in your organization.  Think about why this person is so respected.  Why his people succeed?  What makes her the best?
  2. Make a list of the behaviors, skills and attitudes this person display that makes her the best. Use the attached worksheet.
  3. Now, rate this person’s skills from 1 to 7 (one being needs help and 7 being masterful)
  4. Next, read the list again, now it’s your turn. With a different color pen, rate yourself based on the same behaviors, skills and attitudes.
  5. Now check out the gap? Analyze it?  How far apart are you from her?
  6. Select one or two behaviors (max) you would like to work on and get moving to improve. I recommend that you select the behavior or the skill that will give you more leverage.

There are many “gurus” who talk about not making changes to your weaknesses and concentrate on your strength.  I disagree to an extent.  When you have a “fatal flaw” that can hurt the organization’s bottom line, you need to do something to transform that behavior or improve your skills to turn things around.  You may not become masterful at the 7 points, but you can become a 5 or a 6, which is not bad at all.

If you need additional support or if you know any new leader who needs someone to hold her hand as she grows into her leadership role, please don’t hesitate in letting me know.

A Leading Ladies Survivor Guide for “The” Job Holiday Party

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The holiday season each year brings an abundance of events; parties and celebrations. People coming together to celebrate life and hope with friends, family, and co-workers. As leaders, we are responsible for the tone we bring to our organizations and our teams. Your tone showcases your culture. What a great time to showcase your culture through the holiday celebration. There are so many different traditions during this time of the year, your creativity to keep a judge free zone is paramount to maintain employee engagement. And to add to the mix, the many issues of sexual misconduct in the workplace advertised in the media makes it a priority to create a safe culture as we celebrate this year.  Let’s talk about holiday parties at work, it is a fun way to bring your people together, however, as you know with all the focus on sexual harassment, you have to be overly sensitive about your behavior and that of your staff. Bad behavior can impact even the best employee’s reputation and damage the organizational culture. As the leader of a team, a department, or an organization, caution, and discretion are the orders of the day…be cautious with your actions and know your limits.

1. Your Drinking. How much liquor can you manage? Seriously? Do you even know? If all you can do is one drink, stick to one drink. When in doubt, have none! Maybe you think, “I am a quiet drinker… when I drink, I stay in my own corner.” It doesn’t matter what type of drinker you are, whether you are a happy drinker, a depressed drinker or violent drinker, the result is the same, your reputation will be questioned. Furthermore, neither your team nor your BOSS needs to see or experience this side of you. Last but not least, as a leader, your first responsibility is to lead yourself.

2. Your Dancing. “So you think you can dance!” So what? How can dancing advance your career or your work relations, unless you are expecting to be promoted as the “lead“ dancer on the Alvin Ailey American Dance Studio in New York. Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with dancing. In fact, I love, love to dance. I can dance to almost any type of music, it’s part of my multicultural upbringing. However, early in my career my mentor at the time, walked me through the do’s and don’ts of Corporate Etiquette in order to advance; dancing was my Achilles heel. He said, “you are being watched for a management position and I need you to tone it down.” I was surprised to know that I was being considered although I, myself, didn’t even have this possibility on my short-term list (it was in my long-term goal though). I toned it down and, yes, a couple years down the line, I got the job! I am not saying you shouldn’t dance. If this is something you enjoy, why not! Just be careful and know, you are being watched, by your people, your boss or the board. Dance, but don’t cross the line. Avoid any dance that requires close body contact to your team members or worse, your boss; no twerking, splits, jumping on the chairs and tables. Usually, when a leader asks someone to dance, the person is usually reluctant to say no, because they don’t want to offend the “boss” be mindful. These are ALL no, no’s!

3. Your Dressing. Leave your micro-mini for your “Girls Night Out” or after hour “Ladies Night.” Don’t ever go to your job holiday party dressed like this, it’s not appropriate, point blank, period. There are many appropriate styles and pieces you can use to draw positive attention. If your purpose is to stand out, do so strategically. Think fit, color, and texture. What do I mean? Whatever pieces of clothing you choose to wear, ensure it fits properly not provocatively. If your close don’t fit, take it to a tailor and have him work his magic for you. Having clothes fitted just for you is a luxury you will always treasure, no matter your size. Select a color that favors you… I love black, red or white for holiday parties. But there is nothing wrong with green, pink or purple, choose colors that flatter you. Some textures can actually make look sophisticated, like silks, sequences (with glitter, of course), tweed, velvet or brocade. However, be mindful of very thin knit textures and bulky (wool or chunky tweeds) these textures may not be flattering and can visually increase your weight. Be creative and professional with your dressing. You can wear a jumpsuit, modern pantsuit, mini (not micro) or even a midi–your choice! as long as your choice is not over the top or minimize your standing in front of your staff. Whatever you wear, make it a positive representation of you and appropriate for the event.

Remember, being the boss at any level comes with a lot of responsibility, showing up as a professional is one. At the end of the day, it boils down to… Knowing Thyself.
Remember “A Job Holiday Party” is just “A Glorified Business Meeting.” Never forget and behave accordingly.

Fay A. Lawrence, MBA, ITF. She is a Leadership and HR Strategist, Author and Master Trainer. Fay has been providing human development solutions and change management for more than 20 years at the national and international level in English and Spanish. Fay works with Fortune 500 companies as well as with Non-Profits and Governmental Agencies. She is committed to being a support and guide for organizations who want to transform their culture and develop their leadership in order to be effective and relevant in today’s market. For more information, contact her at or visit the website at

Career Professionals: Increase your Leadership Brand Visibility using LinkedIn

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Yes, you can increase your leadership brand using LinkedIn. What would it do for you? You can be seen and considered as an influencer or expert. When seen as such in a social media platform like LinkedIn, you will increase your negotiation power and the view your current employer or prospective employers see you. How?
Become searchable, the easiest way to be searchable on LinkedIn is changing your URL. Customize your URL with your name, especially if there are other people with your name on LinkedIn. Do you need help? Watch the video below, make the changes and enjoy the benefits of being on the first page of Google.

1: Connect with other influencers and industry leaders; when you associate with leaders, you will be a leader. Take a look at your connections and assess who is in your circle? If your circle needs help, go ahead and look for people in your industry you would like to be associated with. Send them an Inmail and connect.
2: Blog, do you. You can create your own blog through your personal LinkedIn profile. Yes, you can add graphics, videos and branded information that will provide your connections with valuable information coming from you.
3: Videos, yes, people still don’t believe me. You can upload videos on LinkedIn or even create videos on the app and upload it to your profile. A word of caution, know your audience and the platform before you venture into the “wild world of videos” online.


Have you EVER Assessed your Personal Brand?

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Yes, this question is a serious one.  If you are ready for upward mobility, but you look around and notice that people are climbing and you are left behind, I want you to take a serious look at your Personal Brand.

What is a Personal Brand, you may ask. According to Wikipedia: “Personal Brand is the practice of people marketing themselves and their careers as brands.”  This concept was coined by Tom Peters in his Best-Selling Book In Search for Excellence.

Now, would it help, if you take a minute to assess yourself as a product?

What would that product be?

Now, you may ask, Fay, what is a brand then? The dictionary calls it an identifying mark (burned on livestock/criminals or slaves). I know this is a different context, but this is what the dictionary calls “branding.

As an example, if you were to assess yourself as a car brand, what type of car would you be?  Would you be a reliable Honda, a safe Volvo or a classic Mercedes?  What would your brand be?

So, can we conclude that in today’s market, we see a brand as to what and how people think of you or a product when they see or say your name?  It’s the emotion and thought of you that comes up with the thought or the sound of your name.  

What does this mean when we talk about your career? Do you have any control over what people say or think about you?  Can you influence someone’s view of you?  Sure, you can, we see it every day in film, in industry, and in life.  When you make a change, for instance, to your hair color, style or shape, you change how others see you.   When you want to make a change, you make it; sometimes it is forced upon you, sometimes you make the decision yourself. Either way, the decision to change or not is still yours.

But, now, how many of us really take the time to make focused changes to attract a career, a position or a project we really want. How many times do we make these changes with intention?  Most of the time, we either make the changes or we don’t without giving it a second thought.   We go with the flow of our daily lives without being strategic about our goals, careers and the decisions we need to make to obtain our desires.

I am not suggesting that you poll your friends, family or even your boss every time you want to make a personal or a professional change.  What I am suggesting is for you become strategic, look at your goals then make the necessary changes, improvements and actions to bring your goal into fruition.

There are many misconceptions about personal branding in the workplace but the most damaging one is believing that your “Brand” does not matter, that if you work hard enough and people see your “efforts” you will be rewarded.  I am sorry to break it to you but, like cars, every brand advertises; their targets may be different, but they all advertise with the intent of capturing buyers’ attention.

When you look in the mirror, what job do you see yourself advertising for? An assistant? A specialist? A boss?  It  doesn’t really matter which one you choose, the primary question is:  Were you intentional in your choice?

In my practice, I see how well-educated and professional women find it difficult to understand why they are being overlooked for promotions, why they are not viewed or considered as boss material.  I will look them in the eyes and ask, do you act, talk and show up like a boss or an assistant?  “Be clear and be intentional” is always my advice.  Know what you want and work towards it.  It is the only way to get where you want to go.

The decision is yours.

Your Mindset is Sabotaging your Career and Life

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What stops you from achieving your goals?  When you think of your unaccomplished dreams, is there anything you can put your hands on?

What gets in your way of achieving your deepest life desires?  Do you know?

Yes, you can say it is fear… but fear takes many forms.

In this post, I want to call this “awkward feeling,” a form of fear and self sabotage by its rightful name…

“Imposter Syndrome”, also known as Fraud Syndrome or Inner Critic.

So, what is Imposter Syndrome? According to Wikipedia, “it is a term coined by Clinical Psychologist, Dr. Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes.  According to the research, Imposter Syndrome refers to high-achieving individuals who has the inability to internalize their accomplishments and have a persistent fear of being exposed as a fraud.”

According to Merriam-Webster, the Imposter Syndrome is viewed as a false and sometimes crippling belief that one’s successes are the product of luck or fraud rather than skill. 

A crippling belief indeed.  This belief has been stopping women from moving up into management and recognizing their full potential for years.   I must admit that I am still a work in progress, when I think about Imposter Syndrome.  What about you?  This is an issue I have been battling for many years but never knew it was a truly researched and defined condition.  I never saw myself as being shy (and if you know me, you certainly know that I am far from being shy).  However, even today, I need to constantly keep my eyes open and evaluate myself to not fall into the feelings and behaviors of someone with Imposter Syndrome.

When you become aware of the feelings and behaviors that contribute to having Imposter Syndrome and realize how they are hindering your progress, you have the key to solving it in your hands.  Each one of us may have a different solution but this is a journey we all need to take. I can’t guarantee that you will ever stop the feelings or the voices in your head that’s hindering you; but, you will be able to make and manage your progress and results despite the feeling of being a “fraud.”

These of some of the Characteristics that Describes someone with Imposter Syndrome… do you have any?


  • You have difficulty accepting praise. You feel awkward when people celebrate your successes.
  • You discount your success, minimizing your accomplishments.
  • You dread success in some ways because you feel you will need to maintain that level or risk being exposed as someone not as competent as others originally believed.
  • You are paralyzed by the fear of failure and you’d rather not achieve than to fail in any way, shape or form? And later beating up yourself for not trying.
  • You avoid showing confidence in yourself and your abilities because of the way others will perceive you.
  • You over-work, over-research and over-study because it’s never enough. You need to cover all the bases.
  • You’re obsessed with perfection; you want your projects to be perfect. If they aren’t perfect, they won’t be launched or deployed.


How these behaviors keep you stuck and comfortable in the same role for years?


  • You stop taking risks.


  • You feel overwhelmed and under-accomplished because there is never enough time to get everything done.
  • You don’t apply for promotions because there may be some others more qualified who applied, at least, that is what you think?
  • You don’t set the necessary boundaries so you get stuck with more work and projects than your peers. Earning the same salary.
  • You don’t share your ideas in meetings because you fear criticism–from your team, your boss or even your peers.
  • You are somewhat fearful to make profound change in your department or area.
  • You avoid making decisions and giving orders with confidence and drive, because you don’t want to be called the “b….” word.
  • You are constantly holding your breath thinking that some way, someday, someone will expose or embarrass you as the “fraud” you perceive yourself to be in your own head, despite your extensive experience, knowledge and successes.

Guess what, even leading ladies and leading men in Hollywood are victims of the Imposter Syndrome, we are talking about Hugh Laurie, Emma Watson, Viola Davis and the list goes not, you don’t believe me?  Watch:;


So how do you control this “Syndrome”?   


How do you overcome it?  How do you Safeguard yourself? 


Imposter Syndrome is all about feelings of inadequacy.  These feelings will linger in your heart and mind, even when you have successes and accomplishments that should easily override them.

Just remember: It is all in your head!

Take note:

  • Awareness is key. You can only manage what you know.  If you deny the fact that you suffer from Imposter Syndrome, you will always fall short of your greatness.
  • Understand that this feeling may never go away, but you can learn to live with it. It’s a daily struggle but, I promise you, it does get better.
  • Action is the best antidote. Don’t be afraid and have faith that you will be OK.
  • Remind yourself that you don’t need to know everything. Learn to rely on your team or even in your ability to find the answers.  This will minimize your need to know everything and to procrastinate.
  • Learn to talk to your issue or even to the voices in your head… let “her” (the voice in your head) know that you will be alright and “she” doesn’t have to worry about you. You’ve got this!
  • Recognize your expertise, create an achievement wall, file (testimonials/letters of recommendations) or jar (with your successes). Use them as needed.
  • Flip the Script, change your thinking. Replace your negative thoughts with positive ones.  Granted, it will take some work to not only to say it, but to also believe it… Keep the Course.
  • Have bible verses and words of wisdom at your fingertips to read in times of doubt.
  • Visualize your success. Prepare and visualize yourself speaking in the meeting, completing the project and leading your team with success.
  • Pray and meditate to minimize your feelings of inadequacy. Real “Faith” can be your cornerstone.
  • Seek support, schedule time with me, a coach and mentor, who will hold you accountable and guide you along your path to success.

If you need additional help to work things out, let’s talk!  Contact me to schedule a complimentary session at  Rest assured, I will give you the very best assistance available for your journey into the exciting, wonderful and rewarding world of personal success.

 Fay A. Lawrence, MBA, ITF.  She is a Leadership and HR Strategist, Author and Master Trainer.  Fay has been providing human development solutions and change management for more than 20 years at the national and international level in English and Spanish.  Fay works with Fortune 500 companies as well as with Non-Profits and Governmental Agencies.  She is committed to be a support and guide for organizations who want to transform their culture and develop their leadership in order to be effective and relevant in today’s market.  For more information, contact her at or visit the website at:

How to Work with Backstabbers

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pottstown-weekend-marketWhen you think about backstabbers, your first impression is to run away.  Keep away from them, in fact, you can find in Proverbs, when you see evil, run away from it. 

The problem is, we are not aware of the backstabbers until it is too late.  At least, that’s what we want to tell our conscious self.  In reality, we usually know who these people are.  God let us know early in the game, as soon as we are exposed to this person, he tells, “don’t trust, her”, but we usually don’t listen.  He gives us a feeling deep inside of our soul, he makes us aware of words, comments of this person, but we pretend, we didn’t get it… until it is too late.

Ladies, open your eyes and know, that everyone is not going to like you!  And that is perfectly fine, not everyone like pizza or fried chicken, and that is OK.    It was the hardest thing for me to understand.  Very early in my career, I noticed that some people would tend to gravitate towards me and others didn’t.  I didn’t understand why, and it hurt.  And one day, winning about with a friend, he was a good friend, a lawyer and judge, who told me “Fay, this is not a popularity contest, leadership is about making decisions and doing what you need to do for the organization.  There will be people who like you and others may not.”  I learned to deal with it and had to navigate through a lot of backstabbing, and yes, I survive it all.  The stories are too numerous to share, but they all taught me about people and about myself.

My Candid words to you:

At work, know your environment.  Understand the people that are around you, their needs and their goals.  If you do this, you can foresee, in advance, the qualities and behaviors of a backstabber.  Keep your career goals to yourself.  Share what is necessary and keep away from TMI (Too Much Information).  People at work, don’t need to know all about your life.  “Share with your eyes open.”

When you discover that someone is backstabbing other co-workers, be aware and keep your guard up.  Don’t take it personal, know that if she did it to others, she will do it to you.

If you are a product of a backstabber, you have to make a decision.

“Do I confront the person” or “do I pretend not to know”

Once you make up your own mind, go to work.

If you decide to confront the person:

  • Speak from your own point of view, your feelings and the results of the damage (if there was any)
  • Are you ready to clean up, if you need to take responsibility for your own actions, do so.
  • Brace yourself and listen to how the “backstabber” defend her actions or not.
  • You may go back and forth be careful not to keep wounding yourself or the other person.
  • Get to the point of an interpersonal agreement or contract.
  • Try not bring it up again once the “contract” was dealt with and signed. However, keep your guard up.
  • If she deny the allegations, be open to accept that she will not take responsibility.
  • Are your ready to agree to disagree?

 If you decide pretend not to know:

  • Have a plan.
  • Work on your heart and try that your attitude don’t become unproductive.
  • Don’t compromise your values.
  • Be clear on where you are and where you are going.
  • Be watchful of your conversation with this person and her friends/connections
  • Keep your work on point
  • Don’t be afraid to toot your horn.

Final words.  Believe or not, a backstabber may believe that she is justified. In many instances, they don’t feel that they are in fact, backstabbing.  They actually find that their behavior is justifiable in some way or form.  My question to you is, have you ever backstab yourself through self-doubt and self-sabotage?   You can move on from others, but can you move on from yourself and still be successful?  Keep your eyes on the price and believe in yourself, as you continue through your journey.

10409366_10153343055688825_2120688369892497368_nFay A. Lawrence, MBA, ITF.  She is a Leadership and HR Strategist, Author and Master Trainer.  Fay has been providing human development solutions and change management for more than 20 years at the national and international level in English and Spanish.  Fay works with Fortune 500 companies as well as with Non-Profits and Governmental Agencies.  She is committed to be a support and guide for organizations who want to transform their culture and develop their leadership in order to be effective and relevant in today’s market.  For more information, contact her at or visit the website at:







Playing Office Politics Games

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As I work with professionals around the world, they all have something in common, office politics. I hear comments about how office politics is detrimental to the organization, how uncomfortable it is and how hard it is to deal with it.

Thinking that organizations are full of politics and politics should be eliminated, is an illusion. Politics in my books is the art of working with others under unwritten rules. The issue is, are you playing a game that you do not know or understand the rules? This premise can be dismissed by those who can’t see the benefits of “politics” in the workplace. It’s like having a goal of swimming to the middle of the ocean and not understanding that there are undercurrents that will pull you, debilitating your physical and spiritual body to the core. And, yes, you may or may not reach the shore in one piece. This is the reason you need understand the waters you are about to dive in, as the workplace politics you need to know and understand the inherent unwritten rules of your organization. If you do, you will know where to swim and where to avoid.

Organizations are not the only groups who are run through politics. Your family, your group of friends, your church or place of worship are all being managed through some level of politics. In fact, in any place where you have a group of people working together, you will find politics. Politics is how we get things done and how we relate to each other. It’s about communication, personalities, values and behaviors of the people who are members of a group. Denying that politics exist in any of the contexts mentioned above is being delusional.

The problem is not the “politics”, the problem centered on, not understanding the rules of “politics”. When you don’t know or understand the rules of engagement, you may misjudged, misunderstand or become complacent about the state of the environment at work. You may even think and complain about how unfair politics is but its all part of the game. If you want to advance in any organization, you just will need to learn how to play or create your own game.

You must see the big picture and realize that politics isn’t always bad and it’s not always good. Politics just is.

Dealing with politics.
I always recommend that you observe the dynamics of your family before you go observing the one of your organization. If you have your own business, assess your personal values and behaviors, who you relate the most with and how you make decisions.

  • Observe who talks to whom, who deals with whom, who make the decisions, who the leaders without titles are and who have the power, even if they don’t make business decisions.
  • Closely observe how people interact with one another. Listen carefully to what they say and how they relate to each other, who they listen to, how and what information they share.

2 Types of Politics you need to keep your eye on:

1. Power and Influence.
It is based on the duties, roles, tasks or work being performed. It’s the structure and leadership of the organization, how decisions are being made and how work is being performed.

2. Relationships and Informal Networks.
This type of politics is based on interpersonal relationships–who goes out with whom for lunch, shopping or happy hours, and who talks with whom during down time. This is the “gossip and power around the water fountain” type politics.

Get your Politics GAME on:

Now, how do you manage the “Politics” around you? Well, there are a couple of ways:
1. Know what you want, be specific about your future career goals.
2. Create a plan to reach goals and a roadmap to achieving your results.
3. Be positive and speak assertive words, but watch them carefully.
4. Exude confidence, not perfection.
5. Listen more, say less.
6. When necessary, refrain from challenging opposing views and low blows to preclude escalation of the conflict. Remember, First Lady Michele Obama’s statement–“When they go low, we go high.” – practice and keep it in mind at all times.
7. Be clear on your point of view.
8. Keep your guard up. Make a conscious effort to make friends and nurture a network of them at, and away from, the job.
9. Keep away from GOSSIP!
10. When things get “hot” because of opposing views, people take sides, chaos shows its ugly head, choose wisely, who will get your support. When you do, be accountable for your decision. Make your decision reflect your deepest values.
11. Keep your personal life, personal. Be intentional and guarded about what you share. There’s nothing confidential about what’s said publicly or privately at work. If you want to talk about private, personal matters, go to Jesus.
12. When you’re making decisions, keep the greater good in mind.
13. Make it all about Business, not Personal. And, remind yourself that “it’s not just about me!” The fate and direction of the company could be at stake as well as your livelihood.
14. Don’t let ANYONE make you compromise your values
15. If the political game is played in every aspect of the organization and you don’t like it, move on.

Final words
Again, politics is not necessarily good or bad, it can bring people together or tear them apart. But ultimately, it’s not the politics that make or break, it comes down to your attitude and how well you play the game. How flexible or sensitive you are about internal issues. A big part of that is learning to be intentional with your words and behavior. If the organization doesn’t nurture your values or goals, you should transition into an environment that will help you soar to new heights. But, do it wisely, methodically, and mindfully!

F10409366_10153343055688825_2120688369892497368_nay A. Lawrence, MBA, ITF. She is a Leadership and HR Strategist, Author and Master Trainer. Fay has been providing human development solutions and change management for more than 20 years at the national and international level in English and Spanish. Fay works with Fortune 500 companies as well as with Non-Profits and Governmental Agencies. She is committed to be a support and guide for organizations who want to transform their culture and develop their leadership in order to be effective and relevant in today’s market. For more information, contact her at or visit the website at:

Elevate your Career, Become the Next Boss Lady

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What does the term BOSS mean to you?  Does the term evoke visions of something positive or something negative?  Do you consider yourself a boss or leader? Before making a decision, consider that a boss in most cases is seen as the leader, the person who takes charge, is in charge, and is an influencer.  Most importantly, a boss is the woman who creates results through teamwork.

 The more I work with women, the more I realize that most of us don’t see ourselves as bosses, leaders or influencers even when we hold positions of power.  We tend to downplay our role to make it “easier” for others to relate and accept.  We pretend not to know that we are the ones leading the household, the office, and our own lives. 

In my role as the “trusted” career strategist and leadership coach, I encounter two types of women: The ones who are overly confident and act like the borderline “b…h”–the type no one wants to be around.  Then, the second one, is the competent, overly nice “one”, who is the go to person for everything in the organization—the type who ends up giving her all, but staying in supporting roles as she regretfully watches others climbing the corporate ladder, leaving her behind.  Years later, she is deflated, demotivated and angry while her teammates observe it all in disbelieve and heavy hearts.  Her bitterness and discontent is a result of her never giving those around her any indication of her aspirations, plans or desires.  If you don’t want to end up in this type situation, you need to express and share your career goals and desires to your boss.

As a high potential woman, with big desires, you have the responsibility to manage your career, your reputation and control your brand.  Yes, you do have a brand and you must become a Public Relations agent for the Brand called “YOU.”  If you are planning to climb the corporate ladder and elevate yourself to become the new boss, then let’s go to work.  Don’t feel discouraged thinking that only the “good ole boys” can reach to the top and stay there.  There is nothing farther from the truth–you can strategize and execute your plan to become the BOSS you were born to be.

As Jesus said, with God all is Possible and if you align your mind and your spirit to the desires of your heart, you can achieve anything.  It may not be easy, but it is possible.  God didn’t put the desire in your heart, if He believed you couldn’t carry it out.

Looking back throughout the beginning of my career, I can see God’s handy work through my journey.  There were times when I said yes to the wrong jobs, but God ALWAYS, found a way to get me out of those situations.  I went from intern in the Protocol Office in the Panama Canal Commission to Executive Vice-president for a Global Organization, and I can say that God always had my back. 

Seven Strategies To Your Shift Thinking Forward and Move You Towards Your Goals:

1.     Understand you! Be mindful of your self-image.  How do you see yourself?  This is the most important clue to your success.  If you don’t believe in yourself, you cannot get that promotion, the increase or your boss’ job–you just won’t get it.  Your mind can make you or break you.  Your duty is to be mindful of the chatter in your head.   Understand your routines and realize not all of your routines are healthy and can be detrimental to your success.  Reflect on the image you present and analyze what you need to start, stop or modify.

2.    Step out of your comfort zone and take on some challenges that will give you visibility.  However, if you’re sure you cannot perform the challenge even at the peak of your abilities, don’t do it.  Look for projects you can excel in.

3.    Give Credit where it is due and show gratitude.  Whenever someone helps you with a project, be humble and thank them for their commitment. 

4.    Help others grow and develop. When you see talent, nurture and celebrate it.  

5.    Be true to your values, this is the cornerstone of your leadership. Know what you stand for, what gets you upset, what’s acceptable to you and what‘s not.  Don’t let your emotions get the best of you.  Understand your triggers and create boundaries.

6.    Welcome feedback, set the example.  Feedback is a gift and you need to be open to this gift.  You should know your strengths and weaknesses but you must also be attentive to the observations of others. Be open to hear about their views of your shortcomings and strengths.  Set the example.

7.    Treat everyone with dignity and respect.  Understand that what goes around comes around.  People will talk to you and treat you, the way you treat yourself.  Show respect for yourself and others will follow.

As the Boss of your destiny and your career, you need to dress and act respectably–manage your brand wisely.  Please understand, that only God knows your heart, the rest of the world can only see how you’re packaged so don’t expect others to read your mind.   If you use these strategies, your journey to the top will be easier ride.  If you have any questions, feedback, or you want our free gift, just mention this article and contact me at

F10409366_10153343055688825_2120688369892497368_nay A. Lawrence, MBA, ITF.  She is a Leadership and HR Strategist, Author and Master Trainer.  Fay has been providing human development solutions and change management for more than 20 years at the national and international level in English and Spanish.  Fay works with Fortune 500 companies as well as with Non-Profits and Governmental Agencies.  She is committed to be a support and guide for organizations who want to transform their culture and develop their leadership in order to be effective and relevant in today’s market.  For more information, contact her at or visit the website at:

Do YOU Have ANY Regrets?

By | Human Resources | No Comments

2015072695191042 (00000002)Do YOU Have ANY Regrets?

Stop Waiting to Die Before you Decide to Live

 One of my “childhood” friend recently passed away, we lost a beautiful human, a person that everyone grew to love immensely.  He was a wonderful friend, I cannot think of him having enemies or haters.  He had a million dollar smile as someone described him and a big heart.  He will surely be missed!  As I saw him for the last time, and heard all the wonderful things people said as we celebrated his life, I reflected upon my own life, my accomplishments, my fears, my family, friends and my relationship with My God.   When my time comes, what would be said about me?  But most of all, if I am blessed to know, that my time is getting short, would I have any regrets?  Then, I saw a vlog (Marie TV,, and she was talking about the regrets of the dying.   This was perfect timing.   I cannot talk for others, I can only talk for me… I made the decision, to get out of my comfort zone and go after some of those dreams, I have placed on hold.  I want to celebrate life, now!  Because tomorrow is not promised…Enjoy, my life, my love ones, now!

Attached is the article about the 5 Regrets of the Dying… read it, it may change the way you look at your life!  Let me know what you think, and share it if you know that it can help someone else.  Where are here to support each other.

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